Hey all 🙂
For my first entry, I thought it would be cool to talk about online dating. The whole premise of this blog is to talk about things I have personally experienced-thus the name “basedonatruestory91”. I’m definitely very familiar with online dating. I used a website to meet people for about four months before I found my wonderful boyfriend of four years, who I currently live with.
Relax, this is not an eHarmony ad.
I promise I’m not being sponsored by any website to write this. I totally wish I were. In fact, if there’s an online dating company that would like to come to our apartment to take pictures and interview Steve and me while we feed each other cake and talk about how much we love each other and make consumers projectile vomit everywhere , please feel free to private message me so we can set something up. Pssh, if only.
This is my list of do’s and don’ts for anyone who is thinking about giving online dating a try. It’s essentially the same shit I tell my girlfriends, therefore it’s written with a female audience in mind. Any guys who might be reading might want to show it to his little sister, or another female that he cares about. Sit back, relax-potentially learn? Above all ,enjoy 🙂
Let’s begin on a positive note, shall we? The Do’s.
Do be Classy-So you’re in the process of deciding what pictures of yourself you should upload to your profile. Or maybe you’re taking new pictures especially for your page, so that your potential love interest/ future husband/ eff buddy/next mistake/whatever has a good idea of what you currently look like. It probably goes without saying (I’m going to say it anyway) that you want to keep your look conservative. That means cover up! You don’t have to wear a burka or anything crazy-just wear outfits that fit properly. You definitely don’t want to be popping out of your clothes. It sends the wrong message.
Note- if you feel you the urge pop out a LITTLE bit to show off what you presume to be one of your best features-like say you have really great cleavage. It’s totally fine, in my humble opinion, to have a picture of yourself wearing a shirt that’s a TEENSY WEENSY bit low cut. The idea is for your next whatever to be like, “Wow, it look’s like she might have some nice boobs” not “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD LOOK AT THOSE BIG OLE-“you get my drift.
Do Friend on Facebook– When I was meeting guys online, “Do you have Facebook?” was always one of my first questions. I wouldn’t advise making plans to meet anyone in person that you haven’t had the opportunity to investigate on there. Facebook is great because it gives you a better idea of what the guy really looks like. You also get to see what his friends look like, if he’s friends with his Mom, etc. I’m aware that Facebook isn’t foolproof. There are, of course, creepers that have no life that sit home and make fake dating profiles with matching fake Facebook (fake books? tee hee) accounts. Just be careful.
The best is when you add a guy on Facebook and you have mutual friends in common. I once added a guy who went to high school with my girl, Anastasia. I was considering meeting him, until I asked her what she thought of him. “He’s nice, but one time in class, I saw him pick his boogers and eat them.” Uhh, NEXT!
Do tell someone where you’re going– If you do decide to meet someone, you should definitely tell at least one person who is close to you where you are going-preferibly someone you live with. I kid you not- I used to take screenshots of the guys’ pics and text them to both of my parents, along with their real names, profile names, and phone numbers. I have girlfriends that send me the same information before they go out with someone new. In today’s day and age, you can never be too careful.
Now for the Don’ts. Dun dun dun!
Don’t forget to set a time limit-This is so important to remember for when you’re meeting up with a guy you met online for the very first time. I don’t care how cute he looks in his profile pic, or how much you enjoy texting with him until two in the morning. I cannot stress this enough-if you have not met before, you cannot be sure that you’re going to enjoy each other’s company. I used to make it a point to tell the guy beforehand that I only had one hour to chill. There were several occasions where I ended up hanging out for longer than that. There were also a few times where I ran for the hills immediately after the agreed upon amount of time had passed. If you remember only one tip from this blog, let it be this one.
Don’t do dinner the first time around- Something super low key (and super cheap) is best for a first meet up. I personally used to like meeting up at coffee houses. Going off of the first don’t-it’s kind of hard to do dinner and set a time limit. The whole going to the bathroom and never coming back thing is just plain mean and only works in the movies. Ditto having one of your friends call you pretending to be frantic, claiming that they need you to leave your date and save them from some dire not real life or death situation. Not nice.
I once made the mistake of going out to dinner with a guy the first time we met up. He was a really nice person, but we just didn’t click. It was the most awkward waste of time ever-I don’t even feel bad saying that, as I’m completely sure he would agree. He would also say it was a waste of money. Poor dude was a total gentleman and paid for my dinner even though we clearly didn’t have it going on. At the time, I was going to school and working a minimum wage job. #toopoortoargue It was a really good meal too, we had PF Changs. I ordered the beef with broccoli. The whole time, I just kept thinking, “Ugh, we have nothing in common…Damn, this food is so good…but we really really have nothing in common…but this dish is really really friggin good!” I ate the entire thing. Thanks, Brah. I promise I’m not typically such a terrible person.
Last but certainly not least…drumroll please…
Don’t post old photos, or photos that you know damn well don’t look anything like the real you– just don’t. Maybe you’ve gained some weight since last year, or you recently got a crappy haircut. Maybe you just love the way that one Instagram filter looks on you. Unless you plan on hiding behind the computer forever, it isn’t worth it. For one thing, it’s misleading. Admit it, you’d be so turned off if someone did that to you. Nobody likes that. Come on now, you know it’s wrong.
More importantly, it sends the wrong message to numero uno-that is, you, my friend! Posting a picture that you know looks nothing like yourself is insulting. It says, “I don’t look good enough as I am”-, which is ridiculous, and so inaccurate. Remember that everyone suffers from low self esteem at one time or another. My advice would be to have a friend take some new, up to date photos for you. Or you can take them yourself-#selfienation. Do something to make yourself feel good-wear your favorite lipstick, or that pretty sweater everyone says brings out the color of your eyes. Whatever you do, don’t hide ❤ There’s nothing more attractive than confidence.
Now I feel all mushy and inspirational inside, like Oprah. 😀
If there are any do’s and don’ts that I forgot, please comment below! I would love to hear what others have to say.
If you enjoyed this blog entry and would like to see others like it, please follow me.