Who are We

We keep odd hours
as our minds come alive at random times.

We know it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission
as we pursue our reckless dreams.

Our conflicts are our treasures
gifts made out of content, the most precious material

Our worries inspire us
the what if’s make the best creations

We rarely make plans
when we do, we never follow them

We enjoy the finer things in life
like Swedish Fish, good conversation, and watching strangers ride the bus

We may sometimes lose our way
ignoring the sound of our own voices.

We will always come back

Her Story

The sweetest little girl who wore frilly dresses with lacy tights that she needed help putting on. Who went home ‘sick’ because she was afraid of the little boy who growled like a lion during circle time.

The frustrated young girl who cried because she couldn’t read her own handwriting. Who stood and talked to the teacher to avoid recess with the other kids. She rushed home to write stories after school.

The teenage girl who found her best friend in middle school. Who flirted with her gay guy friend because he made her feel safe. She was the most popular nerd in the drama club.

The sixteen year old girl who left her hometown and met her forever friends. Who made many teachable mistakes in love. She never felt pretty , but thanked God she was smart.

The college girl who finally spread her wings. Who fell in love with a broken heart. Who learned to tell everyone where they could go…in the most diplomatic way possible, of course.

The young woman who had so many dreams. She rarely went to sleep before the morning time. She was hopeful, because she trusted.

Oh, how she trusted.

Disney Princesses Who Disappoint Me

I won’t lie to you…I’m a HUGE Disney freak.

I’m twenty-four years old, and I still enjoy watching Aladdin with a side of pizza bites when my man goes out with the guys. I regularly stream The Lion King Soundtrack through my Apple Music account. I’m also quite partial to the Mulan Soundtrack. I must say, nothing makes me feel quite as motivated and productive while I’m busy at work than listening to a song about getting down to business to defeat those damn  Huns. True Story.

A fun fact about me that you probably already would have guessed: Growing up, I was a huge girly-girl. From the ages of four to eight, I would regularly get in trouble for stealing my mother’s lipstick. I would also wear her gold bangle bracelets and stomp around my parents’ bedroom in a pair of seven year old skinny high heeled pumps. Another true story.

With that being said,you can bet your ass I loved me some Disney Princesses!  I absolutely LIVED to dress up like them for Halloween. One year I went as Belle, another as Pocahontas. I had several Disney Princess Barbies. I would act out the stories from their movies, making different Disney Princess dolls or another Barbie doll alternate turns  playing the part of the prince.

Another fun fact: My (genuinely <3) wonderful parents who have always supported me and encouraged me to dream big coincidentally never bought me a Ken doll when I was little. This meant that all  of my dolls were lesbians. Kind of. No disrespect to Barbies who really are lesbian, but I would always pretend that one of the dolls was a boy. I had a really awesome imagination. I guess you could say that I was destined to be a writer.

Where was I? I still love Disney Princesses-some of them, that is. Call me whatever you want to call me , but I personally feel that  several of the Disney Princesses are sad and weak. Some of them just plain fail to exhibit any sense of self.  If I ever have children, I plan to use  examples involving  Disney Princesses to teach them about sexism and the inaccurate portrayal of women as the weaker sex.

I hear you being judgmental.

B*tch, are you really going to go and ruin Disney for your children like that?”

To that I say, relax. I’ll let my kids eat as much candy and ice cream as they want while I educate them about the patriarchal society we live in, and how the media (including Disney movies with princesses in them ) perpetuates some of the most  ridiculous ideologies regarding women.

I plan to use the following characters  as examples. Introducing..

Disney Princesses that Disappoint Me

Ariel from The Little Mermaid -Okay, so let me start off by saying I absolutely love the name Ariel. It’s so very pretty. That still doesn’t mean I like that little red-headed mermaid beeyotch. She gives up her voice, the literal ability to express herself, to be with a man…and the relationship ends up working out! Wtf kind of message does that send to young people? In the movie with real actors (I believe in the fairy tale as well), Ariel ends up turning into sea foam at the end of the film. I like that better, it’s a much more realistic portrayal of what can happen when you let your voice be silenced for another person in a relationship.

Belle from Beauty & The Beast– Okay, so I love a lot of things about Belle. I love that she’s smart, and a total bookworm. I love that she helps her father, and that she tells Gaston where to go on the regular.

Let me also make it clear that  I think that Belle is  very sweet for wanting to stay with the Beast so that she can help him to conquer all of his demons. It’s extremely kind, selfless, and thoughtful. In real life, it can be  extremely dangerous. How many women have gotten hurt-whether physically, mentally, and/or emotionally-from staying with and/or trying to fix men who were as volatile as The Beast? The Beast has issues, dude. If Belle were one of my girlfriends, I would probably be planning an intervention. I’m not even kidding. I’ve never had an intervention for anyone before. If I were to have one for Belle or whoever, I would definitely serve pretzels and hummus. Just  a random thought…

Snow White & Sleeping Beauty-I don’t like Snow White and I think Sleeping Beauty is boring. While these opinions of mine stick out to me, they are far from being my biggest gripes. I put these two princesses together because I have the same problem with both of them …

What really perturbs me is that neither one of them could get their asses out of bed without a prince coming to kiss them. Like, really? I mean, if Snow & Aurora felt like they needed a few extra hours of some good old fashioned shut eye, that’s totally okay. I can respect that, understand it even. But you’re telling me that neither one of them would have ever woken up ever again if it weren’t for their princes? Ever? Wow. Just wow.

But it does make me think- I would really like to see a grown up PG-13 version of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White.  The Prince would come and kiss whichever Princess (Snow or Aurora), and she’d yawn, stretch, and groggily say, “I’m not done sleeping yet. I’ll take care of you in a few hours, Charming…Wait, we just did it last night. Goddammit, are you serious? You’re doing this to me already? Ask me again tonight, we’ll see…just kidding, I have my period…Can you put the fan on on your way out?”

Har Har Har 😀

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5 Things/Living Beings That Make Me Super Happy

La la la la la/la la la la la la…These are a few of my favorite things…..

Hi. The title of this blog is pretty self explanatory.  Please be warned-the list you’re about to read is as random as I am.

Presenting, “The 5 Things/Living Beings That Make Me Super Happy”

  1. Dogs- I swear I must say the words, “There’s nothing better than a dog” a minimum of five times a week. Rest assured that if we pass each other on the street and you’re walking your four legged canine friend, you can 100% count on me to be that annoying ass girl that asks you to stop so she can pet your dog. There’s really not much you can do to stop me. I love and appreciate the fellow dog enthusiasts who understand where I’m coming from. They are usually pretty friendly, and willing to let me greet and pet their animals. With that being said, I’m very minimally bothered by sour puss faces that aren’t happy to stop and let me say hello to their dogs. Too bad for you, Sour Puss Face-your dog is cute and I care more about his/her opinion of me than yours. True story on numerous occasions. #Shameless

2. Starbucks Anything- I have so many freaking overpriced drink options at Starbucks. If I want java, I’ll usually go for an iced venti soy latte, or (if I’m trying to watch my diet) a grande cold brew iced coffee with a splash of soy milk  & two pumps of  caramel syrup(not the icky sugar free kind)… If I’m very thirsty and eating like I do 97% of the time, I’ll order  a Trenta passionfruit tea lemonade (sweetened) with two generous (push that syrup pump all the way DOWN) pumps of raspberry syrup. The Peach Green Tea Lemonade is also quite good. If I’m thirsty and temporarily dreaming about having an attractive bikini body, I’ll opt to get  a Trenta iced green tea unsweetened. It’s got a hint of mint, which I really like. If I’m looking for something really savory and comforting and don’t care about what I look like in a swimsuit, I’ll  get an iced chai latte with soy milk. Anything larger than a grande makes me feel like a balloon that’s about to pop.

3.Having really really dark hair-I dye my naturally medium brown hair dark dark dark dark brown (Garnier Olia Darkest Brown 3.0, if you wanted to know) every five weeks. I’ve contemplated going lighter many times, but know I just won’t feel like myself. I’m super white (probably too white to have such dark hair, but I honestly don’t care) and love to wear super bold lip colors most of the time. Super bold lips plus very white skin plus practically black hair are just all part of my trademark.

4.Tattoos & Piercings ( mostly tattoos) -I tend to be really thoughtful and careful with my ink. I have five tattoos and made sure I wanted each of them for several months (some, years) before taking the plunge. My piercings were spontaneous, except for the time  my parents fulfilled my request to have my ears pierced at age six. I randomly decided to have my belly button pierced on my twenty-first birthday. I  actually decided to get a nose stud yesterday. I considered it for awhile, and made a spur of the moment decision to go for it.  I regret neither piercing…yet. Loving the nostril stud on day 2, hopefully it works out cause not gonna lie, I’m feeling really cute with my glittery ,tiny tiny nose bling. Fingers crossed!

5.Spending time with my loved ones-My man, my family (and his, who I already consider to be mine), and my best girlfiends. I have so many incredibly awesome people in my life, and I could not feel more grateful and/or blessed. Thank you, God!

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to steal this prompt. Mentioning where you got it from would be a really nice, decent human being thing to do. I have faith in you 🙂

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Natalie Freaking Portman…My Top 4 Favorite NP Films

If you’re reading this blog post, there’s a chance you saw the title and went “ohmigod yas, I freaking love Natalie Portman !” To that I would respond, “I know, right? She’s awesome.” I would probably also offer you a fist bump, because that’s something I frequently do.

Or maybe you saw the title and thought, “Ew, why Natalie Portman ?” In response, I would politely suggest that you hop off my blog-Right now, thank you.  I have the most obnoxious Jersey girl accent you’ve ever heard in your life , and so I would actually tell you to hop aww-ff. You might also get a  Bye, Felicia, depending on my mood.

But yeah, I literally went on Netflix last night and did a search for Natalie Portman movies alone.  I must admit, I’m really bad when it comes to watching  films- I have a very limited attention span for them. Most of the time, when my friends asked me if I’ve seen this movie or that movie, my answer is “lol, no.” While I’m an eternal optimist in every other area of my life, I tend to be of the mindset that most movies out there SUCK. I knew I could rest assured that  if I searched only for Natalie Portman movies, I would be sure to find something I would genuinely enjoy. Her movies  always either yank HARD on my heart strings, make me laugh and/or feel warm and fuzzy, or keep me on the edge of my seat with anticipation.

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Not going to lie- I  also think she’s  really, really pretty. I always find myself watching her films going, “hmm, I think I too have that lipgloss color she’s wearing. My hair  is naturally  curly also-  It would only take all fucking day and several hundred dollars to change it  to the same color as hers. No big deal.” I know I look nothing like her, not even in my wildest dreams. It’s sort of like when I was a  little girl, and planned on growing up to become a farmer who taught elementary school and starred in movies in the summer time;  I knew deep down that none of that  shit was actually going to happen, the same way that I’m currently aware that   I look absolutely NOTHING like Natalie Portman. Let me live-or dream.. whatever.

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Image Source: images2.fanpop.com

So now,  here’s the part where I give you my top 4 favorites. Ready? Go!

Garden State (2004)

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I’m obsessed with this feel good movie. Zach Braff ( Did I mention that I’m a sucker for nice Jewish boys?) is technically the star. He plays Andrew Largeman, a young  adult struggling to make it as an actor in Los Angeles, who returns home to New Jersey for his mother’s funeral. He has a very strained relationship with his father. Things have been pretty shaky between them ever since he was a child. For years,  Largeman has been living with guilt  from having caused  a tragic accident, one so severe that it  rendered his mother a parapalegic.  Largeman’s father, who also happens to be a psychiatrist, has always  blamed him for his wife’s traumatic loss. He immediately sent his young son to boarding school so that he would be kept  away from the family. He also  forced him to take all of these heavy duty psychiatric  medications that he didn’t truly need.

Largeman learns how to feel again during his trip home to the Garden State.  This is largely due to his new friendship with a girl named Sam (played by my girl, Natalie P). The  two find each other  by chance in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. All I can say is leave it to Natalie Portman to play the cutest pathological liar you’ve ever seen in your life. Sam is a really goofy, quirky, loveable character. I’ll admit that she would probably be mad annoying if she was real, but on screen she’s just bubbly and  adorable.

Black Swan (2010)

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Image Source: ww.mynewmovies.net

Oh shit, this is a really dark, fucked up film. NP is scary skinny (but still beautiful, because let’s face it; how could she not be?), and plays a ballerina named Nina, who suffers from severe hallucinations and a hardcore obsession with perfection that is perpetuated by her dance teacher, who is a really sick, pervy dude. He is forever saying inappropriate things to make her feel insecure. Nina believes everything he says, and is eager to oblige him, so that she can fuflill the lead part in the Swan Lake ballet. He purposefully pays a lot of compliments to Mila Kunis’s character, to make Nina feel inadequate af.

Tip-  If you’re worried that your boyfriend won’t agree to watch this movie with you, let  him know that there’s a lesbian scene between MK and NP. It’s a really brief scene-at least it was really brief when I saw the film. I’m pretty sure I skipped over it entirely; I was living at home at the time and my dad unknowingly came and sat down on the couch next to me with his dinner right  minutes before it started . Awkward lol. So glad this happened after invention of the DVD…I can’t imagine having to wait for that to fast forward.

No Strings Attached (2011)

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Image Source: http://www.bandbent.files.wordpress.com

Miss Portman plays this really gorgeous ER doctor opposite Ashton Kutcher, who plays an equally gorgeous, aspiring screen writer with a famous actor dad who also happens to be dating his ex girlfriend… yeah, anyway..NP and AK’s characters were  summer camp friends as teenagers, who happen to run into each other again as young adults. To make a long story short, they start hooking up and NP won’t let their relationship become more than anything sexual out of  a fear/insecurity of falling in love…they inadvertently (you guessed it) end up falling in love with each other anyway. It’s a pretty predictable movie, but it’s just so cute. There’s a hot guy and a hot girl in it, and so your boyfriend/husband/boy toy probably won’t mind watching it with you. Just saying.

The Other Woman (2009)

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Imag Source: images4.fanpop.com

This is what I ended up watching yesterday. Natalie Portman plays Emilia, a legal aid who is married to this rich, successful lawyer who already has a son with his nasty ex-wife. The mean ex is played by Phoebe from Friends.  I should mention that it’s  called the Other Woman because Emilia became involved with her successful, attorney-husband while he was still married to Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow, I know). Their marriage had been falling apart, and probably would’ve ended whether or not Emilia had come into the picture. Mind you, I’m not trying to suggest that it’s a positive choice to sleep with married people-keep in mind that this is just a movie… Still, Emilia is the recipient of a lot of hate and negative attention from the parents and staff at her step son’s school. She’s a pretty likeable, down to earth character. You’ll feel for her when you watch.

It gets worse, in terms of the sadness factor. I have yet to mention that the movie centers around recent the death of Emilia’s new born baby, Isabel. The movie starts out really cute, with all these pictures of the new baby. You’ll find out a few minutes into the film that the  little tiny baby they just spent five  straight minutes showing you  died when she was just three days old. As you can imagine, this is something that Emilia really struggles with throughout the film.

Now, you have a whole list of movies that you simply must go and see, starring the gorgeous and talented Natalie Portman. You’re so welcome!

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Night People

Hi all 🙂

It’s Saturday night…actually it’s early Sunday morning. I would like to go to sleep soon, but I just can’t bring myself to go lay down quite yet. The insomniac in me would much rather lay on the couch and write until my eyelids become too heavy to physically stay open.

I’ve been a night person forever. My parents stopped implementing a weekend/summer/holiday bedtime for me when I was about ten or eleven years old. I absolutely loved staying up late. I would routinely consume tons of trashy reality shows on Vh1, along with a side of calorie laden treats like Chips Ahoy! cookies and homemade nachos. Sometimes, I would write in my journal. I wrote about my crushes, mostly. I pretty much always liked a boy in my class, guys who were part of the “in” crowd, guys who wouldn’t have even farted my way back then. I also read books, usually one of my mother’s suspense novels by Mary Higgins Clark. Or sometimes, I read Judy Blume, who in my humble opinion is a literary queen. Good stuff.

What I liked best about the late night time was being the only person in the house that had  stayed awake. My parents went to sleep around ten-ish, and so the house was always super quiet. I loved that. I’ve heard morning people talk about how they love getting up early and enjoying a cup of coffee in solitude. To this very day, I experience that same feeling of peace and happiness from having stayed up late by myself.

My leisurely late night activities haven’t changed much, honestly. I’ll watch reruns of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Teen Mom. I’ll nosh on snacks I know I’ll regret in the morning, like Lime Tostitos. I’ll work on this blog, and refer to my  awesome boyfriend, as I no longer have “class crushes”. I’ll admit, I don’t read much. I unfortunately  don’t have time to do it on a consistent basis. I will say that I did recently enjoy  a memoir by Teresa Giudice (from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, duh)) and her experience as an inmate in Danbury Prison. It was a pretty juicy read , if you’re a reality TV nut like I am. Just a suggestion 🙂

Staying up late  isn’t something I always do, or something I always take pleasure in. With my busy schedule, there are plenty of Friday and Saturday nights  when I’m thrilled to pass out in bed at 9:30 pm. I feel exhausted. There are also plenty of nights when I stay up late, not because I want to, but because I have to get my homework done. While it’s not the worst thing in the world, it’s far from enjoyable.

Still, it’s nice when I can enjoy a long night staying up. It’s crazy to think about how similar I am to my pre-teen/teenager self, in terms of my favorite pastimes. I’ve changed so much in other ways, yet I still find comfort and joy in the same things.

Muy Interesante, right?

My  eyelids are feeling like bricks right now. I guess I’m writing myself to sleep. Hopefully, you’re still awake after reading. If you’re tired too, I’ll forgive you.

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Good night 🙂

What’s On My Mind

Hey all,

So it’s already Wednesday. I always feel like the week goes by so quickly, which I guess is a good thing. I had a lot of things running through  my mind today. Serious, important things. I thought it might be fun to share them with you. Here’s my top 5 random thoughts of the day. They’re mixed with some fun facts, in case you feel like getting to know yours truly.

Here we go…

1. Today is Ash Wednesday, which means no meat. It also means I’ll be spending my Fridays over the next forty days in WTFDIE mode. That stands for’ What the f do I eat’ mode. Today, I brought plain pizza for lunch. No clue what I’m having for dinner later. Maybe a Nutella sandwich, or my scrambled eggs without the turkey bacon and salami….although I don’t know if I’ll be able to enjoy my eggs without turkey bacon or salami. Ugh…

Fun fact: I used to be a vegetarian. I did it once in high school for about 6 months, and again during my freshman year of college. The first time around, I survived on cookies, goldfish crackers, and bagels with butter. The second time I took the plunge, I ate a lot of healthy shit, like tofu scrambles and brown rice pasta.No idea how I did it back then, since having to do it once or twice a week during lent sends me into WTFDIE mode now.

Maybe I’ll just get sushi every Friday. Problem solved!

2. I keep thinking about how happy I am that my kitchen is clean. Like, really freaking happy. I had all these dirty dishes piling up in the sink from Super Bowl Sunday, which was driving my type A ass up the wall. I spent a good forty five minutes washing dishes last night. I also cleaned my stove top. It’s so ridiculous shiny and beautiful now, I can practically see my reflection in it. Maybe I’m weird, but my kitchen being really squeaky clean makes me happier than a pig in shit. Anyone else?

3.  I’ve been going back and forth with myself on this one-should I polish my own nails  for Valentine’s day, or go to the salon to get a gel mani? The real question is, do I feel like shelling out $25.00 plus tip, or spending x amount of hours peeling nail polish boo boos off the skin around my nail beds? Decisions decisions.

4. I need to go to the gym tonight. Like actually go, not just acknowledge my need to go.  Lately, I’ve been working out so inconsistently that I end up spending my sporadic cardio sessions on the  stair master  coughing and wheezing like a sixty year old chain smoker. With bronchitis. Not cool.

5. How come when I bring chips for a snack I always eat them, but when I bring fresh veggies for a snack I’m not hungry? Like how does my stomach know what’s in my snack drawer?

There we go, my five random thoughts of today. What’s on your mind? Let me know in the comments below.If you enjoyed this blog entry, kindly do follow me. Pretty please. Comments and likes would also be mighty nice 🙂